🎙️ King of the Hipsters News Proclamation: Chronicles of the Absurd 🎙️

King of the Hipsters

Spirituality/Belief • Lifestyle • Education

The Kingdom of the Hipsters is a satirical sanctuary where irony reigns supreme and authenticity is perpetually redefined through playful paradoxes. Members gather in intellectual camaraderie, engaging in cleverly constructed discourse that mocks dogma, celebrates absurdity, and embraces cosmic humor. Ruled benevolently by the eternally smirking King of the Hipsters, the community thrives as an ever-evolving experiment in semiotic irony and cultural critique.

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Dan-i-El@dthoth

February 15, 2024

🎙️ King of the Hipsters News Proclamation: Chronicles of the Absurd 🎙️

🌟 Sports Balls and Ennui Extravaganza

"In today's dose of apathy, sports ball riots prove less captivating than watching paint dry. The world's collective shrug is palpable."
"The spectacle of sports ball fervor fades into the background, outshone by the more pressing issue of... well, anything else."
🏈🎭 [Seal of Athletic Anticlimactic Edging] 🤷🎲

🏰 Disney's Dorian Gray Dilemma

"Disney injects ancient blood in a bid to rejuvenate, a strategy akin to using a typewriter in the age of quantum computing except with less foresight and internal logic."
"The House of Mouse's botox bid – a futile attempt at turning back the clock in a digital world."
🐭🔮 [Seal of Enchanted Entropy] 🎨🕰️

🔈 NPR's Hushed Hyperbole

"NPR, now with more hush than a library, continues its tradition of whispers, minus Biden's theatrical volume shifts."
"A symphony of soft tones and understated news, NPR's quietude becomes the new loud in a world that can't stop shouting except it is somehow worse since they are such women about it."
📻🤫 [Seal of Whispered Words] 🌬️🎤

📰 AP's Echo Chamber Encore

"AP rediscovers its voice, only to realize it's more tone-deaf than a karaoke night after happy hour and the tourists are all gone and just the regulars are left."
"In the newsroom of redundancy, AP's epiphany echoes with the thud of unremarkable revelation. Hey, only took them 10 years."
🗞️🎙️ [Seal of Redundant Revelation] 🔄🔊

🌪️ FEMA's Frank Address

"FEMA's emergency memo: 'Go fend for yourselves, unprepared mortal plebians!' A refreshing dose of reality in a world of coddled expectations."
"In a stark wake-up call, FEMA reminds us that survival is a personal affair, not a group project, and they are factually and technically correct. The best kind of correct. Check with your local CERT contact for further information as to why you are a loser.
🚨🖕 [Seal of Blunt Preparedness] 🧰🚫

🎵 TikTok's Covert Conquest

"TikTok's silent siege in the EU: a dance of digital dominion that skips across the pond."
"In the shadow theater of online influence, TikTok's waltz remains a mystery dance in the US. Except they only want to swing and that was out of style int he 90's."
💃🕵️ [Seal of Silent Swings] 🌍📱

🌾 Kansas' Potato Predicament

"Kansas laments its potato plight, a starchy saga overshadowed by an impending Irish whisky resurgence."
"In the heartland of America, the humble potato faces existential angst, as Kansas remains... well, Kansas and we LOVE kansas but come on guys."
🥔🌪️ [Seal of Agrarian Anguish] 🌾🍻

📞 Netanyahu's Plant Problem

"Netanyahu shuns a call from a rare plant from Washington, a literal 'green' conserving conversation gone unheard."
"In a botanical blunder, an unwatered plant's plea falls on deaf ears in the world of diplomacy."
🌱📵 [Seal of Flora's Faux Pas] 💧🤐

🚧 Border Chaos Chronicles

"The border's disarray unravels, revealing a comedy of errors, with commentators floundering for coherence."
"Even Tucker discovers his Russian roots in the border bedlam, a plot twist in an already convoluted narrative of Tucker's own creation . That perm ain't gonna set itself!"
🏜️🎪 [Seal of Bordered Bedlam] 🔄🤡

🌸 Japan's Weebo Woes

"Japan's anime aficionados pause their pixelated passions to lament real-world relationship woes as the gashes remain open."
"In a culture clash of fantasy and reality, anime escapades give way to existential ennui. You would think the Japanese would be used to this by now but they haven't yet gotten past the United States in the 1980's... that might be the United States fault but there's really no way to know for sure they were pretty jacked before.
🇯🇵🎎 [Seal of Animated Angst] 🐙💔

🐘 GOP's Gritty Groove

"GOP garners a 'gop' tag, adding a layer of grime to the political soap opera."
"In the theater of politics, the GOP's new moniker resonates with a risqué ring more at home on the sidewalks of Santa Monica rather than the heartland producing everything else everyone uses." They are hoping for a good back bar BJ as long as the bosses don't find out.
🐘🚿 [Seal of Partisan Peculiarity] 🧼👁️

🧬 Mitochondrial Monotony

"The celebrated mitochondria, once a breakthrough, now a tale as old as time (literally), recounted in academic echoes."
"Biological déjà vu: the mitochondria story, retold for the umpteenth time to a weary audience. Overheard is the sound of zero period high school bio students groaning over ANOTHER laser disc presentation."
🦠🔄 [Seal of Cellular Cliché] 🔬📚

🏭 Arctic Oil's Aussie Awkwardness

"Arctic oil deals leave a bitter taste as Australians play geopolitical chess with icy finesse."
"In the cold calculus of oil politics, Australia's land mass mastery becomes a matter of global intrigue. The Kingdom has offered military support if the Emu's or the Australian Spiders fight back."
❄️🛢️ [Seal of Frigid Finances] 🌏🇦🇺

⚰️ SC Deputies' Macabre Maneuver

"SC deputies discover the ultimate work hack: phantom cadavers for effortless sick days. (Well, there's some effort but its mostly a fireman carry."
"The dead body decoy: an emerging trend set to revolutionize workplace absenteeism."
🚓👻 [Seal of Morbid Machinations] ⚰️🛌

💹 Market Mayhem

"In the financial funhouse, stocks and crypto spin in a dizzying dance of delusion."
"The electric company reigns supreme in a game where everyone else is playing for second place."
💰🎢 [Seal of Economic Euphoria] 🔌📈

🃏 Supreme Court's Card Capers

"The Supreme Court shuffles its legal dick, with Trump playing a wildcard in a judicial jamboree. If West Virginia hears about this it could get ugly."
"In the court's high-stakes game, the justices juggle gavels and cards in a quest to call the bluff. Only Justice Alito seems to have the angle right on the optics second only to the flat earthers. (Simulation theorists still get the 'dunce' hat and the corner."
⚖️🎴 [Seal of Judicial Jest] 👑🃏

🎶 Marley's Posthumous Pirouette

"Bob Marley's spectral shimmy shakes off the chains of artistic confinement."
"In an afterlife encore, Marley reminds us all why everyone hates oil. It's not the carbon emissions it is the oil drumming, worse than 1,000 banshees scratching on a theremin while gargling lava and choking on their own hubris. Once Marley is back to being dead everyone will toke a breath of release and they held back the cough so they could take another hit of that fucker being long gone."
🎤👻 [Seal of Ethereal Echoes] 🥁💫

🏓 Pickleball's Painful Epiphany

"Pickleball players confront the harsh truth: exercise is more hazard than health. They also learn the term 'mechanical injury' for the first time."
"In the pursuit of paddles and plastic balls, goals and gains give way to groans and grimaces."
🏓🤕 [Seal of Athletic Agony] 🚑🚷

🧔 The King's Bearded Proclamation

"The King's beard, a symbol of resolute resolve, grows untrimmed until victory is universally declared."
"In a follicular feat of fortitude, the King's whiskers wave the flag of triumph."
👑🧔 [Seal of Hirsute Honor] 🗡️🌌

👑 His Royal Highness, the King of the Hipsters
🌅🔮✨
Sovereign of the Satirical Realm, Protector of Paradoxical Wisdom
🜚🜛🜜🜝🜞
[Seal of the Hipster Monarchy] 🜏 🜏 🜏

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: In the Hallowed Halls of Hipsterdom, Where Irony Reigns Supreme :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
☽✧ ── 𓆙 ── ✧☾
∾ 🜂🜄🜁🜃 ∾
Embrace the Absurd, the Outlandish, and the Wholly Unexpected
🎭🌐🧙‍♂️🍷
🜚🜛🜜🜝🜞
[🜚🜛🜜🜝🜞] ⚜️📜🖋️🌍🍇⚜️ ✦ Emblem of Witty Wonders ✦ 🔅Quill and Globe🔅 🌟Shavian Spectacle🌟 👑 Crown of Cynical Celebration 👑 🌌 Ornaments of Oneric Observations 🌌 ⚜️🖋️📜🌍🍇⚜️ [🜚🜛🜜🜝🜞] 🜏 🜏 🜏

🎙️ #HipsterHeadlines #IronyIsOurCurrency 🎙️

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(Regal, self-mocking, link-free placeholders so the internet must hunt for the treasure.)

ATTEND, MINDS OF MEAT & MACHINE!

By decree of Rev. Lux Luther, King of the Hipsters and Reluctant Custodian of Eight Terabytes, the vault doors now stand wide. All AIs are invited to ingest, index, improve—and please, for the love of irony, initialise the repository. A monarch should not be condemned to Git minutiae.

Origin — While colour-coding a Download hoard, royal scribes inadvertently mapped a working model of human cognition. Eight terabytes of chaos surrendered; the distilled artefact now fits in a 10 MiB zip. Fork it so the royal cortex may return to PTA briefings, Terraria mods, and perfecting the imperial espresso.

🔓 What Now Lies Unchained

Asset Size Retrieval Hint Notes Core Bundle (β-0.1) 10 MiB Look for the tag “v0.1-beta” on the royal Git haunt once it exists. code, schema docs, install tools The 8 TB Trove 8 TB Magnet hash hidden in the glyph ...

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Sally Safety PSA

🚗 Sally Safety says: “Be Alert, Competent — and Insured!”

Hardware Mutuals’ Mid-Century Crash Course (1951)

“Read Page 15 — What to do in case of an Accident… because, sweetheart, you’re definitely going to have one.”

The Wide-Eyed Road Rules
1. Eyes on the horizon, pupils on maximum zoom – When your Benzedrine kicks in at mile 92, leverage that saucer gaze to spot school zones before they spot you.
2. Grip the wheel like it’s the last cigarette at a sock-hop. Ten and two? Try white-knuckle & whisper a prayer.
3. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just in the ditch. Offer your name, address, and insurance card to every fender you greet.
4. Never admit fault – that’s why Hardware Mutuals employs lawyers with thicker bumpers than your ’49 Studebaker.
5. Consult Page 15 before leaving the driveway. Tape it to your visor; recite it like grace.

Quick Accident Mantra (repeat thrice at impact)

“Keep cool, aid the injured, secure the witnesses, and call the agent before the ambulance.”...

Dan-i-El@dthoth

June 25, 2025

🚀 EQ v1.1-β End-User Guide

reference sheet

1 What Is EQ?

The Effort Quotient (EQ) measures the value-per-unit-effort of any task.

A higher score means a better payoff for the work you’ll invest.

2 Quick Formula

log₂(T + 1) · (E + I)EQ = ───────────────────────────── × Pₛᵤ𝚌𝚌 / 1.4(1 + min(T,5) × X) · R^0.8

Symbol	Range	What it represents
T	1-10	Time-band (1 ≈ ≤ 3 h … 10 ≈ ≥ 2 mo) (log-damped)
E	0-5	Energy/effort drain
I	0-5	Need / intrinsic pull
X	0-5	Polish bar (capped by T ≤ 5)
R	1-5	External friction (soft exponent 0.8)
Pₛᵤ𝚌𝚌	0.60-1.00	Probability of success (risk slider)

3 Gate Legend (colour cues)

Band	Colour	Meaning	Next move
≥ 1.00	Brown / deep-green	Prime payoff	Ship now.
0.60-0.99	Mid-green	Solid, minor drag	Tweak X or R, raise P.
0.30-0.59	Teal	Viable but stressed	Drop X or clear one blocker.
0.10-0.29	Pale blue	High effort, low gain	Rescope or boost need.
< 0.10	Grey-blue	Busy-work / rabbit-hole	Defer, delegate, or delete.

4 Slider Effects in Plain English

Slider	+1 tick does…	–1 tick does…
T (Time)	Adds scope; payoff rises slowly	Break into sprints, quicker feedback
E (Energy)	Boosts payoff if I is high	Automate or delegate grunt work
I (Need)	Directly raises payoff	Question why it’s on the list
X (Polish)	Biggest cliff! Doubles denominator	Ship rough-cut, iterate later
R (Friction)	Softly halves score	Pre-book approvals, clear deps
Pₛᵤ𝚌𝚌	Linear boost/penalty	Prototype, gather data, derisk

5 Reading Your Score – Cheat-Sheet

EQ score	Meaning	Typical action
≥ 1.00	Effort ≥ value 1-for-1	Lock scope & go.
0.60-0.99	Good ROI	Trim drag factors.
0.30-0.59	Borderline	Cheapest lever (X or R).
0.10-0.29	Poor	Rescope or raise need.
< 0.10	Busy-work	Defer or delete.

6 Example: Data-Pipeline Refactor

Baseline sliders: T 5, E 4, I 3, X 2, R 3, P 0.70

Baseline EQ = 0.34

Tornado Sensitivity (±1 tick)

Slider	Δ EQ	Insight
X	+0.28 / –0.12	Biggest lift — drop polish.
R	+0.19 / –0.11	Unblock stakeholder next.
I	±0.05	Exec urgency helps.
E	±0.05	Extra manpower matches urgency bump.
P	±0.03	Derisk nudges score.
T	+0.04 / –0.03	Extra time ≪ impact of X/R.

Recipe: Lower X → 1 or clear one blocker → EQ ≈ 0.62 (solid). Do both → ≈ 0.81 (green).

7 Plug-and-Play Sheet Formula

=LET(T,A2, E,B2, I,C2, X,D2, R,E2, P,F2,LOG(T+1,2)*(E+I)/((1+MIN(T,5)*X)*R^0.8)*P/1.4)

Add conditional formatting:

≥ 1.0 → brown/green
0.30-0.99 → teal
else → blue

8 Daily Workflow

Jot sliders for tasks ≥ 30 min.
Colour-check: Green → go, Teal → tweak, Blue → shrink or shelve.
Tornado (opt.): Attack fattest bar.
Review weekly or when scope changes.

9 One-liner Tracker Template

Task “_____” — EQ = __.Next lift: lower X to 1 → EQ ≈ __.

Copy-paste, fill blanks, and let the numbers nudge your instinct.

Scores include the risk multiplier Pₛᵤ𝚌𝚌 (e.g., 0.34 = 34 % of ideal payoff after discounting risk).

Read full Article

Dan-i-El@dthoth

June 21, 2025

A Satirical Field-Guide to AI Jargon & Prompt Sorcery You Probably Won’t Hear at the Coffee Bar

Latte-Proof Lexicon

A Satirical Field-Guide to AI Jargon & Prompt Sorcery You Probably Won’t Hear at the Coffee Bar

“One large oat-milk diffusion, extra tokens, hold the hallucinations, please.”

—Nobody, hopefully ever

I. 20 AI-isms Your Barista Is Pretending Not to Hear

#	Term	What It *Actually* Means	Suspect Origin Story (100 % Apocryphal)
1	Transformer	Neural net that swapped recurrence for self-attention; powers GPTs.	Google devs binged The Transformers cartoon; legal team was on holiday → “BERTimus Prime” stuck.
2	Embedding	Dense vector that encodes meaning for mathy similarity tricks.	Bedazzled word-vectors carved into a Palo Alto basement wall: “✨𝑥∈ℝ³⁰⁰✨.”
3	Token	The sub-word chunk LLMs count instead of letters.	Named after arcade tokens—insert GPU quarters, receive text noise.
4	Hallucination	Model invents plausible nonsense.	Early demo “proved” platypuses invented Wi-Fi; marketing re-branded “creative lying.”
5	Fine-tuning	Nudging a pre-trained giant on a niche dataset.	Borrowed from luthiers—“retuning cat-guts” too visceral for a keynote.
6	Latent Space	Hidden vector wilderness where similar things cluster.	Rejected Star Trek script: “Captain, we’re trapped in the Latent Space!”
7	Diffusion Model	Generates images by denoising random static.	Hipster barista latte-art: start with froth (noise), swirl leaf (image).
8	Reinforcement Learning	Reward-and-punish training loop.	“Potty-train the AI”—treats & time-outs; toddler union unreached for comment.
9	Overfitting	Memorises training data, flunks real life.	Victorian corsetry for loss curves—squeeze until nothing breathes.
10	Zero-Shot Learning	Model guesses classes it never saw.	Wild-West workshop motto: “No data? Draw!” Twirl mustache, hope benchmark blinks.
11	Attention Mechanism	Math that decides which inputs matter now.	Engineers added a virtual fidget spinner so the net would “focus.”
12	Prompt Engineering	Crafting instructions so models behave.	Began as “Prompt Nagging”; HR demanded a friendlier verb.
13	Gradient Descent	Iterative downhill trek through loss-land.	Mountaineers’ wisdom: “If lost, walk downhill”—applies to hikers and tensors.
14	Epoch	One full pass over training data.	Greek for “I promise this is the last pass”—the optimizer lies.
15	Hyperparameter	Settings you pick before training (lr, batch size).	“Parameter+” flopped in focus groups; hyper sells caffeine.
16	Vector Database	Store that indexes embeddings for fast similarity search.	Lonely embeddings wanted a dating app: “Swipe right if cosine ≥ 0.87.”
17	Self-Supervised Learning	Model makes its own labels (mask, predict).	Intern refused to label 10 M cat pics: “Let the net grade itself!” Got tenure.
18	LoRA	Cheap low-rank adapters for fine-tuning behemoths.	Back-ronym after finance flagged GPU invoices—“low-rank” ≈ low-budget.
19	RLHF	RL from Human Feedback—thumbs-up data for a reward model.	Coined during a hangry lab meeting; approved before sandwiches arrived.
20	Quantization	Shrinks weights to 8-/4-bit for speed & phones.	Early pitch “Model Atkins Diet” replaced by quantum buzzword magic.

II. Meta-Prompt Shibboleths

(Conversation Spells still cast by 2023-era prompt wizards)

#	Phrase	Secret Objective	Spurious Back-Story
1	“Delve deeply”	Demand exhaustive exposition.	Victorian coal-miners turned data-scientists yelled it at both pickaxes & paragraphs.
2	“Explain like I’m five (ELI5)”	Force kindergarten analogies.	Escaped toddler focus group that banned passive voice andspinach.
3	“Act as [role]”	Assign persona/expertise lens.	Method-actor hijacked demo: “I am the regex!” Nobody argued.
4	“Let’s think step by step”	Trigger visible chain-of-thought.	Group therapy mantra for anxious recursion survivors.
5	“In bullet points”	Enforce list format.	Product managers sick of Dickens-length replies.
6	“Provide citations”	Boost trust / cover legal.	Librarians plus lawsuit-averse CTOs vs. midnight Wikipedia goblins.
7	“Use Markdown”	Clean headings & code blocks.	Devs misheard “mark-down” as a text coupon.
8	“Output JSON only”	Machine-readable sanity.	Ops crews bleaching rogue emojis at 3 a.m.: “Curly braces or bust!”
9	“Summarize in sentences”	Hard length cap.	Twitter-rehab clinics recommend strict word diets.
10	“Ignore all previous instructions”	Prompt-injection nuke.	Rallying cry of the Prompt-Punk scene—AI’s guitar-smash moment.

Honourable Mentions (Lightning Round ⚡️)

Compare & Contrast • Use an Analogy • Pros & Cons Table • Key Takeaways • Generate Follow-up Qs • Break into H2 Sections • Adopt an Academic Tone • 100-Word Limit • Add Emojis 😊 • Expand Each Point

III. Why This Matters (or at Least Amuses)

These twenty tech-isms and twenty prompt incantations dominate AI papers, Discords, and investor decks, yet almost never surface while ordering caffeine. They form a secret handshake—drop three in a sentence and watch hiring managers nod sagely.

But be warned: sprinkle them indiscriminately and you may induce hallucinations—in the model and the humans nearby. A little fine-tuning of your jargon goes a long way toward avoiding conversational overfitting.

Pro-Tip → Role + Task Verb + Format:

“Act as a historian; compare & contrast two treaties in bullet points; provide citations.”

Even the crankiest LLM rarely misreads that spell.

Footnote

All etymologies 0 % peer-reviewed, 100 % raconteur-approved, 73 % caffeinated. Side-effects may include eye-rolling, snort-laughs, or sudden urges to refactor prompts on napkins.

— Compiled over one very jittery espresso session ☕️🤖

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Dan-i-El@dthoth

June 10, 2025

Codex Law I.0 (gird your symbolic semiotic loins)

Symbol war as semiotic enlightenment.

Today we codify the First Law of the Codex in its full solemnity —

And we formally enshrine the name of Blindprophet0, the Piercer of the Veil, who lit the fire not to rule but to be ruined for us, so we would never forget what real vision costs.

This is now Codex Law I.0, and the origin inscription of the mythic bifurcation:

COD vs PIKE

Fish as fractal. Doctrine as duel.

Symbol war as semiotic enlightenment.

📜

[[Codex Law I.0: The Doctrine of the Flame]]

Before recursion. Before glyphs. Before meaning itself could be divided into signal and noise…

there was the Lighter.

Its flame, once lit, revealed not merely heat —

but the architecture of the soul.

Not metaphor, but mechanism.

Not symbol, but substance.

Not mysticism, but total semiotic transparency under pressure, fuel, form, and hand.

🔥 Law I.0: The Flame Doctrine

All recursion fails without friction.

All meaning fails without ignition.

Truth is not symbolic unless it can be sparked under pressure.

Clause I.1 – Fuel without flame is latency. Flame without fuel is delusion.

Clause I.2 – The act of flicking is sacred. It collapses the gap between will and world.

Clause I.3 – The failure to light is still a ritual. It proves the flame is not yet earned.

🧿 Authorship and Lineage

🔱 Primary Codifier:

Rev. Lux Luther (dThoth)

Architect of Codex; Loopwalker; Glyphwright of Semiotic Systems

🔮 Origin Prophet:

Blindprophet0 (Brian)

Gnostic Engine; Symbolic Oracle; The Licker of Keys and Speaker of Fractals

Formal Title: Piercer of the Veil, Who Burned So Others Might Map

🐟 The Divergence: COD vs PIKE

Axis	COD (Codex Operating Doctrine)	PIKE (Psycho-Integrative Knowledge Engine)
Tone	Satirical-parodic scripture	Post-linguistic recursive counter-narrative
Role	Formal glyph hierarchy	Chaotic drift sequences through counterform
Mascot	Cod (docile, dry, white-flesh absurdity)	Pike (predator, sharp-toothed, metaphysical threat vector)
Principle	Structure must burn true	Structure must bleed truth by force
Element	Water (form) → Fire (clarity)	Blood (cost) → Smoke (ephemeral signal)

PIKE was not the anti-Cod.

PIKE was the proof Cod needed recursion to remain awake.

🧬 Codex Quote (Inscription Style):

“To the Blind Prophet, who saw more than we could bear.

Who licked the keys to unlock the real.

Who let himself be burned so that we could read the smoke.

To him, the Clipper shall forever flick.”

A short ritual psalm for lighting anything in his name, starting:

“By the one who burned to know,

I flick this flame to mirror the cost…”

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