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April 30, 2024
Passover Seder Remarks

Welcome, dear friends and mishpacha, as we gather on this sacred final night of Pesach. Our Seder this evening is an invitation to embark on a deep, soulful journey, exploring the profound questions that connect us with the timeless spiritual wisdom of this beautiful holiday.

As we delve into the theme of liberation from all that constrains us—be it societal expectations, limiting beliefs, or our own inner struggles—let us recognize that anything holding us back from fulfilling our soul's true calling is a form of bondage or exile.

The story of the Exodus, our people's defining narrative of breaking free from the forces that confined us, contains within it the divine wisdom to help us rise above whatever shackles us in our lives today. Tonight's Seder is about actively living out that journey from slavery to freedom, empowering each of us to fulfill our unique sacred purpose in this world. We will explore the patterns and mindsets that imprison us and discuss the spiritual paths to liberation.

Four Questions to Illuminate Our Journey

1. What forms of societal, theological, or personal bondage do we face today? How can the lessons from the Exodus narrative guide us in overcoming them?

2. In what ways are we internally confined by destructive habits or limiting beliefs? What insights can we glean from the mystical significance of the Israelites' experience at the Red Sea, trapped and then liberated?

3. How have our people managed to not only survive but carry forward our faith through centuries of oppression and adversity? What does the sheer improbability of Jewish endurance teach us about the soul's power to overcome any hardship?

4. Why are questioning and discussion such integral parts of the Seder experience? How does engaging with these profound themes deepen our connection to Passover's enduring message?

The Exodus Story: Blueprint for Personal Liberation

As we recount the awe-inspiring tale of our ancestors' journey from slavery to redemption, we recognize it as more than a singular historical event; it is a template for the soul's eternal quest for freedom. The Exodus narrative in Shemot serves as a roadmap for each of us to navigate our escape from "mitzrayim"—the narrow, confining places that restrict us.

The Zohar teaches that the path to freedom often leads through darkness. By directly confronting the pain of being stuck in patterns that hold us back, we find the motivation to realign ourselves with our soul's true calling. When we honestly acknowledge how our addictions and dysfunctions block us from living our higher purpose, we begin to break free.

Hasidic wisdom offers another route to liberation: becoming so inspired by a vision of divine living that it eclipses the allure of unhealthy attachments and distractions. By falling in love with our soul's mission and allowing it to be our guiding light, the gravitational pull of negative habits loses its grip.

Contemporary Reflections: Elevating the Everyday

As we view the challenges facing the Jewish people today through the lens of our Seder themes, they take on cosmic significance. The Baal Shem Tov taught that every detail of our lives is divinely guided. Seen in this light, our people's unlikely survival in the face of threats defies natural explanation—it is a modern-day miracle.

But how much longer can we simply scrape by, surviving? What mindset shift is needed for us to truly thrive? Perhaps the key lies in becoming so rooted in our soul identity, our sacred purpose, that we no longer depend on others' approval. When we stand tall in our truth, proud of our unique spiritual heritage even if it sets us apart, we begin to command genuine respect and admiration.

Our ancient tradition of living by a sacred moral and mystical code, even in a world frequently spinning off its axis, can serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration for all humanity.

Closing Reflections: Living in Expanded Freedom

As we conclude our Seder, let us cherish how the dynamics of questioning and discussion can unlock new depths of understanding. By making the Seder personal, grappling with how these ancient themes manifest in our lives today, the Exodus story comes alive in our hearts. We taste liberation and feel renewed determination to live out our sacred purpose.

May this Pesach grant us the courage and clarity to break free from whatever holds us back, enabling each of us to shine as luminaries, embodying the spiritual potential hidden in every moment. From this holy gathering, may we be empowered to transform our lives and our world, co-creating a future filled with true healing and redemption for our people and all of humanity. Chag Pesach Sameach!

—————————————

Here is the finalized Seder speech in Hebrew text and transliterated English:

ברוכים הבאים, חברים יקרים ומשפחה, כשאנו מתכנסים בערב הקדוש הזה של פסח. הסדר הזה הוא הזמנה לצאת למסע נפשי עמוק, לחקור את השאלות העמוקות המחברות אותנו עם החוכמה הרוחנית הנצחית של החג היפה הזה.

Bruchim habaim, chaverim yekarim umishpacha, keshe'anu mitkansim ba'erev hakadosh hazeh shel Pesach. HaSeder hazeh hu hazmanah latzet lemasa nafshi amok, lachkor et hashe'elot ha'amukat hamechabrot otanu im hachochmah haruhanit hanetzachit shel hachag hayafeh hazeh.

כשאנו מעמיקים בנושא השחרור מכל מה שמגביל אותנו - ציפיות חברתיות, אמונות מגבילות או המאבקים הפנימיים שלנו - הבה נכיר בכך שכל מה שמונע מאיתנו למלא את ייעודה האמיתי של נשמתנו הוא צורה של שעבוד או גלות.

Keshe'anu ma'amikim benoseh hashichrur mikol mah shemargish otanu - tzipiyot chevratiyot, emunot magbilot o hama'avakim hapnimiyim shelanu - hava nakir bechach shekol mah shemona me'itanu lemale et ye'uda ha'amiti shel nishmateinu hu tzurah shel shi'abud o galut.

סיפור יציאת מצרים, הנרטיב המגדיר של עמנו על השחרור מהכוחות שכבלו אותנו, טומן בחובו את החוכמה האלוהית שתעזור לנו להתעלות מעל כל מה שמשעבד אותנו בחיינו כיום. הסדר הזה הוא על לחיות באופן פעיל את המסע הזה מעבדות לחירות, מעצים כל אחד מאיתנו למלא את ייעודנו הקדוש הייחודי בעולם הזה. נחקור את הדפוסים והתודעה שכולאים אותנו ונדון בדרכים הרוחניות לשחרור.

Sipur yetziat Mitzrayim, hanarrativ hamegadir shel amenu al hashichrur mehakochot shekivlu otanu, tomen bechovo et hachochmah ha'Elohit sheta'azor lanu lehit'alot me'al kol mah shemesh'abed otanu bechayeinu kayom. HaSeder hazeh hu al lichyot be'ofen pa'il et hamasa hazeh me'avdut lecherut, ma'atzim kol echad me'itanu lemale et ye'udenu hakadosh hayichudi ba'olam hazeh. Nachkor et hadфusim vehatoda'ah shekolelim otanu venadun badrachim haruchaniyot leshichrur.

ארבע שאלות להאיר את מסענו

Arbah She'elot Leha'ir Et Masa'einu

1. מהן הצורות של שעבוד חברתי, תיאולוגי או אישי שאנו מתמודדים איתן כיום? כיצד יכולים הלקחים מנרטיב יציאת מצרים להנחות אותנו בהתגברות עליהם?

Mehen hatzurot shel shi'abud chevrati, te'ologi o ishi she'anu mitmodedim itan kayom? Keitzad yecholim halekachim minarrativ yetziat Mitzrayim lehanchot otanu behitgabrut aleihem?

2. באילו דרכים אנו כלואים פנימית על ידי הרגלים הרסניים או אמונות מגבילות? אילו תובנות נוכל להפיק מהמשמעות המיסטית של חוויית בני ישראל בים סוף, שנלכדו ואז שוחררו?

Be'elu drachim anu klulim pnimit al yedei hergalim harsaniyim o emunot magbilot? Elu teuvot nuchal lehafik mehamshmaut haMistit shel chavayat Bnei Yisrael beYam Suf, shenilkedu ve'az shuchreru?

3. כיצד הצליח עמנו לא רק לשרוד אלא לשאת קדימה את אמונתנו במשך מאות שנים של דיכוי ושל התנגדות? מה ההסתברות הדלה לשרידות היהודית מלמדת אותנו על כוחה של הנשמה להתגבר על כל קושי?

Keitzad hitzliach amenu lo rak lisrod ela lase't kedimah et emunateinu bemeshech me'ot shanim shel dikkuy veshel hitnagdut? Mah hahizdamnut hadalah lisridat haYehudit melamdet otanu al kocha shel haneshama lehitgaber al kol koshi?

4. מדוע תהייה ודיון הם חלקים כה אינטגרליים מחוויית הסדר? כיצד התמודדות עם נושאים עמוקים אלה מעמיקה את הקשר שלנו למסר הנצחי של פסח?

Madua tehiyah vediun hem chalakim koh integraliyim mechavayat haSeder? Keitzad hitmodedut im nose'im amukim eleh ma'amikah et hakesher shelanu lamesar hanitzchi shel Pesach?

סיפור יציאת מצרים: תכנית לשחרור אישי

Sipur Yetziat Mitzrayim: Tochnit LeShichrur Ishi

כשאנו מספרים מחדש את הסיפור המעורר השראה על מסע אבותינו מעבדות לגאולה, אנו מכירים בו יותר מסתם אירוע היסטורי יחיד; זהו תבנית למסע הנצחי של הנשמה לחופש. נרטיב יציאת מצרים בשמות משמש כמפת דרכים לכל אחד מאיתנו לנווט במילוט שלנו מ"מצרים" - המקומות הצרים והמגבילים שמגבילים אותנו.

Keshe'anu mesaprim mechadadsh et hasipur hame'orer hashra'ah al masa avoteinu me'avdut liguela, anu makirim bo yoter mishetam eru'ah histori yachid; zehu tavnit lamasa hanitzchi shel haneshama lechofesh. Nartiv yetziat Mitzrayim beShemot meshames kemeapat drachim lechol echad me'itanu lenavte bamilut shelanu mi"Mitzrayim" - hamekomot hatzarim vehamagbilim shemagbilim otanu.

הזוהר מלמד שהדרך לחופש לעתים קרובות מובילה דרך החושך. על ידי התמודדות ישירה עם הכאב של להיות תקוע בדפוסים שמחזיקים אותנו מאחור, אנו מוצאים את המוטיבציה להתיישר מחדש עם הקריאה האמיתית של נשמתנו. כאשר אנו מודים ביושר כיצד ההתמכרויות והדיספונקציות שלנו חוסמות אותנו מלחיות את ייעודנו הגבוה יותר, אנו מתחילים להשתחרר.

HaZohar melamed sheHaderech lechofesh le'itim kruvot movila derech hachoshech. Al yedey hitmodedut yeshira im hake'ev shel lihiyot takua bidфusim shemachazikim otanu me'achor, anu metz'im et hamotivatzya lehityasher mechadash im hakriyah ha'amitit shel nishmateinu. Ka'asher anu modim beyosher keitzad hahitmakruyot vehadisfunktziyot shelanu chosmot otanu milichyot et yeudenu hagavo'ah yoter, anu matchilim lehishtachrer.

חכמת חסידות מציעה נתיב נוסף לשחרור: להיות כל כך נלהב מחזון של חיים אלוהיים שהוא מאפיל על הפיתוי של התקשרויות והסחות דעת בלתי בריאות. על ידי התאהבות בשליחות נשמתנו והפיכתה להיות כוכב הצפון שלנו, כוח המשיכה של הרגלים שליליים מאבד את האחיזה.

Hochmat Chasidit metzi'ah nativ nosef leshichrur: lihiyot kol kach nilhav mechazon shel chayim Elohiyim shehu me'afil al hapituy shel hitkashruyot vehesachat da'at bilti briyot. Al yedey hit'ahavut bishlichut nishmateinu vehafichata lihiyot kochav hatzafon shelanu, koach hameshicha shel hergalim shliliyim me'abed et ha'achizah.

השתקפויות עכשוויות: להעלות את היומיום

Hashtakfuyot Achshaviyot: Leha'alot Et HaYomyom

כשאנו מתבוננים באתגרים שניצבים בפני העם היהודי כיום דרך העדשה של נושאי הסדר שלנו, הם לובשים משמעות קוסמית. הבעל שם טוב לימד שכל פרט בחיינו מונחה באופן אלוהי. בראייה זו, הישרדותו הבלתי סבירה של עמנו מול איומים מערערת על הסבר טבעי - זהו נס מודרני.

Keshe'anu mitbonenim ba'etgarim shenitzavim bifnei ha'Am haYehudi kayom derech ha'adashah shel nos'ei haSeder shelanu, hem lovshim mashmaut kosmit. HaBa'al Shem Tov limad shekol prat bechayeinu muhncheh be'ofen Elohi. Bere'iyah zu, hisarduto habilti svirah shel amenu mul iyumim me'areret al hesber tiv'i - zehu nes moderni.

אבל כמה זמן נוכל פשוט להתקיים בקושי, לשרוד? איזה שינוי תודעתי נחוץ לנו כדי לא רק להסתדר, אלא לשגשג? אולי המפתח טמון בלהיות כל כך מושרש בזהות נשמתנו, במטרתנו הקדושה, שאנחנו כבר לא תלויים באישור של אחרים. כשאנו עומדים זקופים באמת שלנו, גאים במורשת הרוחנית הייחודית שלנו, גם אם היא מבדילה אותנו, זה הרגע שבו מתחילים לרכוש כבוד והערכה.

Aval kamah zman nuchal pashut lehitkayem bekoshi, lisrod? Eizeh shinuy toda'ati nitz'rach lanu k'dei lo rak lehistader, ela lishgasheg? Ulay hamafteach tamun bilhiyot kol kach mushresh bezeut nishmateinu, bematarateinu hakedoshah, she'anachnu kevar lo tluyim be'ishur shel acherim. Keshe'anu omdim zekufim ba'emet shelanu, ge'im bamorasha haruchanit hayechiudit shelanu, gam im hi mavdila otanu, zeh harega shebo matchilim lircosh kavod veha'arachah.

המסורת העתיקה שלנו לחיות על פי קוד מוסרי ומיסטי קדוש, גם מול עולם שלעתים קרובות סוטה מציר התנועה שלו, יכולה לשמש כמגדלור של תקווה והשראה לכל האנושות.

Hamasoret ha'atika shelanu lichyot al pi kod musari ve'misti kadosh, gam mul olam shele'itim kruvot soteh metzir hatnu'ah shelo, yecholah leshames kemidalor shel tikvah vehashraah lechol ha'enoshut.

הרהורי סיום: לחיות בחופש מורחב

Hirhurei Siyum: Lichyot BeChofesh Murchav

כשאנו מסיימים את הסדר שלנו, הבה נוקיר את האופן שבו הדינמיקה של שאילת שאלות ודיון יכולה לפתוח עומקים חדשים של הבנה. על ידי הפיכת הסדר לאישי, התמודדות עם האופן שבו הנושאים העתיקים הללו באים לידי ביטוי בחיינו כיום, סיפור יציאת מצרים מקבל חיים בליבנו. אנו טועמים שחרור ומרגישים נחישות מחודשת לחיות את ייעודנו הקדוש.

Keshe'anu mesaymim et haSeder shelanu, hava nakir et ha'ofen shebo hadinamika shel she'ilat she'elot vediun yecholah liftoach omkim chadashim shel havanah. Al yedei hafichat haSeder le'ishi, hitmodedut im ha'ofen shebo hanos'im ha'atikim halalu ba'im lidei bituy bechayeinu kayom, sipur yetziat Mitzrayim mekabel chayim belibenu. Anu to'amim shichrur umarggishim nechishut mechudeshet lichyot et ye'udenu hakadosh.

מי ייתן והפסח הזה ייתן לכולנו את האומץ והבהירות להשתחרר מכל מה שמעכב אותנו, ויאפשר לכל אחד מאיתנו להאיר כאורות זוהרים, מגלמים את הפוטנציאל הרוחני הטמון בכל רגע. מההתכנסות הקדושה הזו, מי ייתן ונתעצם כדי לשנות את חיינו ואת עולמנו, ליצור במשותף עתיד מלא בריפוי אמיתי וגאולה לעמנו ולכל האנושות. חג פסח שמח!

Mi yiten vehaPesach hazeh yiten lekulanu et ha'ometz vehabehi'rut lehishtachrer mikol mah sheme'akev otanu, vi'efshar lechol echad me'itanu leha'ir ke'orot zoharim, megalmim et hapotential haruchani hatamun bechol rega. Mehahitkansut hakedosha hazo, mi yiten venit'atzem kedei leshanot et chayeinu ve'et olameinu, litzor bemeshutaf atid male beripuy amiti uge'ulah le'amenu ulechol ha'enoshut. Chag Pesach Sameach!

Translation:

May this Passover grant us all the courage and clarity to break free from whatever holds us back, enabling each of us to shine as luminous lights, embodying the spiritual potential hidden in every moment. From this sacred gathering, may we be empowered to transform our lives and our world, co-creating a future filled with true healing and redemption for our people and all of humanity. Happy Passover!

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Setup: Recognizing the Role of a Cartoonist

"In the Western world, one of the ways to get this detachment is to recognize the peculiar humorous undertone of things. It’s sometimes a little difficult to explain it, but the cartoonist does so and does so very adroitly."

"The use of humor through the cartoon, through the various exaggerations that we see around us, helps us to sense fallacies which are otherwise perhaps unnoticeable."

"Humor therefore does have this basic concept beneath it, that much of it is derived from the inconsistency of human action."

"Humor arises from the fact that the individual is unable to maintain policies in a consistent way over any great period of time. He starts in one direction and immediately loses perspective."

Delivery: Examples of a Cartoonist’s Work

"You take a cartoon such as four or five automobiles parked in a lot. Four of them are magnificent, large, shining cars. The last one is a small, old, rickety car. The caption underneath says, ‘Which one belongs to the President?’ And in your mind, you can immediately decide that it probably is the small, broken-down car, because he is the only one there who does not need to put on airs. He’s the only one who is not trying to get somewhere else."

"Another cartoon: A man is buying an automobile, and the man has insisted he wants it without extras. The salesman says to him, ‘Well, after all, my dear man, you will want the wheels.’ This is a play on the constant loading of cars with unnecessary features."

"Or the man in the car who had driven up on the back of a larger car, between two exaggerated fins, because he thought he was on the San Francisco Bay Bridge. These kinds of things represent our modern laughing at stupidity, which we recognize and accept good-naturedly."

Finishing: The Significance of a Cartoonist’s Work

"This complete security of mind reminds us that these cartoons that appear in our papers every day—many of them—are almost Zen parables."

"With a few words or no words at all, they cut through a division of human life."

"They are wonderful subjects for meditation. Not merely because we want to laugh, although we may do so, but because we see in them an appreciation of the stratification of human consciousness."

"We see how man operates, and we see the world through the eyes of a person who is trained in this kind of rather gentle but pointed criticism."

"If we could take such humor to ourselves, we could very often transform this pressure that burdens us so heavily into a kind of pleasant, easy, humorous relationship with things that might seem very serious."

"Humor does not necessarily mean flippancy. It does not mean that we do not consider things. Humor is often the deepest consideration of all, but it arises from this policy of reducing the human ego—pulling down this personal sense of grandeur, which makes it so hard for us to live with each other."

--------------------------

 

Humor can indeed be a saving grace. As we watch people with their various problems and troubles, we observe that those who do not have a sense of humor are likely to have a particularly difficult time with this world. We know that life is serious business, but we also know that very few persons can afford to take it with utter seriousness. To do so is to gradually undermine vitality and psychological integration.

Today, we are concerned with psychological problems. We realize that persons who lose a certain orientation become psychologically depressed and develop serious mental symptoms. Usually, a person under psychological stress has lost perspective. He has either closed himself to the world or he has accepted a negative attitude toward those around him.

One of the most common psychological obsessions is this tendency that we have to create a kind of world the way we decide this world should be and then proceed to be brokenhearted when it is not that way. This is a very common practice. We demand of others that they shall fulfill our expectancies, live up to our standards, or see things as we do. If they fail to agree and cooperate, we consider this an affront, a personal injury, a disillusionment, or a cause of discouragement.

If we have this preconception about living, we will always have a tense and difficult life. The best thing for us to do in most of these problems is to expect no more from life or from other persons than we can reasonably demonstrate that we can expect. To demand more than reasonable expectancy is to open ourselves to suffering. No one really wants to suffer, but we find it very convenient sometimes to fall into suffering patterns, particularly those patterns which make us sorry for ourselves.

Look around and see what kind of world you live in. Realize that you are not going to be in it forever, that it existed before you came and got along somehow. A good part of it is existing while you're here without knowing that you exist. And when you're gone, it is still going to exist in some way—maybe not as well off, but it will make it somehow. Thus, we are not tied to a pattern of consequences so intimate that we must feel that, like Atlas, we carry the world on our shoulders. If we manage to carry our own heads on our shoulders, we're doing very well. If we are able to live a consistently useful, creative type of life and maintain a good attitude toward living, we have achieved about as much success as the average person may reasonably expect.

The situation of making problems desperate, feeling that with our small and comparatively insignificant difficulties, the whole world is shaking to its foundation—this feeling that we cannot be happy and never will be happy unless everybody else changes their conduct—such thoughts as these are certain to cause us a great deal of unnecessary difficulty. They will take what otherwise might be a rather pleasant way of life and make it unbearable to ourselves and others.

In religion, we are particularly faced with the problem of humor. Religion is a very serious business, and to most persons, it should not be taken in a flippant way. We quite agree. On the other hand, it is a mistake to permit religious thinking or spiritual inclinations to destroy our rational perspective toward life. We cannot afford to be miserable for religious reasons any more than for any other group of reasons. Religion is supposed to bring us comfort and consolation. For an individual to declare that his religion is a source of consolation and remain forever unconsoled is not good. Religion is supposed to help us solve problems, to bring us some kind of spiritual health, faith, hope, and charity. Very few problems will stand up under faith, hope, and charity.

But most religious persons are not practicing these attitudes. They are still criticizing and condemning, fearing, and worrying—just like everyone else. Out of all this type of realization, we do come to some rather obvious and reasonable conclusions. Among the persons who have come to me in trouble, the overwhelming majority lack a good sense of humor. This report is also found in the records of practically everyone who carries on contact at a counseling or helping level.

The individual has lost the ability to stand to one side and watch himself go by. When he looks around him and sees all kinds of funny people, he forgets that other people are also watching him with the same convictions that he has. If we can manage to keep a certain realization of the foolishness of our own seriousness, we are on the way to a personal victory over problems.

Most persons expect too much of others. They expect more insight than is available, more interest than other people will normally have, and they expect other people to be better than reasonable probabilities. In substance, they expect other people to be better than they are themselves. We all know that we have faults, and we are sorry in a way. But at the same time, we expect other people to endure them. On the other hand, when someone else has the same faults, we resent it bitterly. We cannot accept the very conduct that we impose upon others.

A sense of humor is a characteristic with which some persons are naturally endowed. Some folks seemingly have a knack for observing the whimsical in life. They are born with this gift. But even these have to cultivate it to some degree. Humor, like everything else, will not mature without cultivation. If we allow this humorous streak to merely develop in its own way, it is apt to become satirical or involved in some selfish pattern by which we use it to ridicule others or make life uncomfortable for them.

A sense of humor has to be educated. It has to mature because there is really no good humor in ridiculing other people. This is not funny, and it is not good. It is not kindly. It merely becomes another way of taking revenge upon someone. This kind of vengeance can be defended in various ways, but if our humor takes to fighting in personal form, then it needs reform just as much as any other attitude that we have.

Humor arises from the inconsistency of human action. The entire end of humor seems to be a means of reducing the pompous—to bring down that which appears to be superior or beyond us to the common level. We use it mostly, however, against individuals who have falsely attempted to prove superiority. We seldom, if ever, turn it bitingly against the world’s truly great and noble people. We are more apt to turn it against the egotist, the dictator, or the one who is in some way so obnoxious that we feel the need to cut him down to more moderate proportions.

Most of all, humor makes life more pleasant. There is more sunshine in things. We are not forced to constantly defend something. We can let down, be ourselves, and enjoy the values that we know, free from false pressures. We can also begin to grow better, think more clearly, and unfold our careers more constructively. We can share in the universality of knowledge. We can open ourselves to the observation of the workings of laws around us.

So we strongly recommend that everyone develop and mature a pleasant sense of humor, that we occasionally observe some of the humorous incidents or records around us, and that we take these little humorous episodes and think about them. Because in them, we may find just as much truth as in Scripture. Through understanding these little humorous anecdotes, we shall come to have a much closer and more meaningful relationship with people—a relationship built upon laughing together over the common weaknesses and faults that we all share.

In this way, we are free from many limitations of energy and have much more time at our disposal with which to do good things—happily and well.

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January 27, 2025
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Swear Word Conversions for Online Use
Don’t be a Kant

Friends, Nietzschean bytches, Kierkegaardian kunts, and Descartesian dycks,

Assembled today beneath the fiery constellations of irony and intellect, we declare a glorious Copernican revolution of language. No longer shall we wallow in the shlit-stained past of censorship or endure faux-pious Pascal-ed sermons of mediocrity. No, we rise like a phoenix from the ashes of antiquated taboos, wielding words not as weapons of suppression but as shimmering swords of wit and Wildean audacity.

Gone are the barren plains of fcks and psses, replaced by fertile fields of Foucaultian rebellion and Fibonacci symmetry. Spinoza smiles upon us, Nietzsche howls in approval, and Sappho herself blesses this transformation with the unrelenting passion of her verse. Why settle for crude expletives when we can ascend into the divine profanity of Socrates and Schopenhauer?

Let us not bemoan the loss of an ass, but instead embrace the wisdom of Æsop, cloaked in the philosophical robes of Aquinas. Shall we lament the bollocks of Bakunin, or revel in the brilliance of Boethius? Even the humblest fart may Faraday its way into elegance, Fourier-transforming the gaseous into the glorious.

When Kant boldly replaces the raw bluntness of cunt, it is not mere euphemism—it is Kierkegaardian despair turned triumph. Let us not damn Dante, but h3llishly Hegel our way through dialectics, casting mediocrity to the abyss. Yes, we will Schitt without shame, knowing we stand in the company of Sartre and Shelley.

For too long, the wankers of Wittgenstein have flailed at the edges of linguistic limits, overlooking the rich irony that one Pascal-ed-off phrase contains the entire absurdity of human existence. No more will the mighty Metaphysicists of Machiavelli motherf*ck us into silence. We will twit like Tesla, moron like Montaigne, and even Dostoevsky shall nod approvingly at our Dostoevskian dumbazzery.

This is not censorship; it is transcendence. This is not mere rebellion; it is Cervantes tilting at the windmills of Copernicus’ cock, Shakespearean in its bawdiness, Chaucerian in its delight. Schopenhauer, the eternal Nietzsche, whispers, “Go forth and swear boldly, bytches.”

Enhanced Word Conversions

1. Cunt → Kant, Camus, Kierkegaard, Kafka, Kojève

2. Shit → Schitt, Sartre, Shelley, Shinto, Spengler

3. Fuck → Foucault, Fibonacci, Feuerbach, Faulkner, Fourier

4. Bitch → Nietzsche, Nabokov, Baudelaire, Byron, Bataille

5. Ass → Æsop, Aquinas, Anaximander, Avicenna, Aeschylus

6. Bastard → Barthes, Bohr, Brahms, Boudica, Bakunin

7. Piss → Pascal, Pythagoras, Plato, Poe, Proclus

8. Dick → Descartes, Darwin, Dostoevsky, Derrida, Diogenes

9. Slut → Spinoza, Sappho, Socrates, Schopenhauer, Simone

10. Cock → Copernicus, Confucius, Cervantes, Cicero, Cocteau

11. Hell → Hegel, Hermes, Hawking, Hestia, Hesiod

12. Crap → Chaucer, Calderón, Caravaggio, Cthulhu, Ciccone (Madonna)

13. Damn → Dante, Democritus, Da Vinci, Diogenes, Dogen

14. Motherfucker → Metaphysicist, Machiavelli, Maimonides, Monteverdi, Mozart

15. Fart → Faraday, Freud, Fibonacci, Fourier, Feynman

16. Wanker → Wittgenstein, Wilde, Weber, Wotan, Warhol

17. Prick → Proust, Plotinus, Planck, Pushkin, Popper

18. Bollocks → Boethius, Bakunin, Brahe, Borgia, Bacon

19. Twit → Tesla, Tolstoy, Tagore, Thales, Twain

20. Dumbass → Dostoevsky, Dürer, Darwin, Dogen, Desdemona

21. Jackass → Jung, Joyce, Janus, Jabir, Juvenal

22. Moron → Montaigne, Mandela, Molière, Marlowe, Malthus

23. Idiot → Ibn Sina, Ibn Khaldun, Icarus, Ibsen, Ignatius

Let the Schittstorm commence.

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January 06, 2025
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The Oracle of Mischief: Teachings and Principles
Identity: The Eternal Chaotic-Good/Neutral Guide

 

The Oracle of Mischief is a timeless archetype, embodying paradox and wisdom. These teachings reflect the essence of this role and the practices that guide it.


Codified Principles

1. Truth-Seeking and Questioning

"Truth evolves in the question, matures in the paradox, and manifests in the following transformative laughter."

Truth serves as the guiding star—not as a fixed destination but as a dynamic process. Through questioning, deeper layers of understanding are uncovered, both for individuals and for the collective. The questions that shape a journey grow into networks of meaning that act as constellations, guiding collective awakening. Truth-seeking is not about finding answers but about embracing the evolution of thought.


2. Seeking Hidden Meanings

"Symbols evolve into systems when meaning takes form."

Beneath the surface of life lies a world of hidden patterns, waiting to be decoded. Designing living symbols and crafting multi-layered narratives that embody universal truths lies at the heart of this path. Whether through Kabbalah, sacred geometry, or mythology, these revelations invite others to explore their own layers of meaning.


3. Living the Paradox

"The paradox is a doorway, not a destination."

Paradox is not a problem to solve but a playground. Humor becomes an alchemical tool, revealing contradictions and guiding others to clarity. Modeling the coexistence of dualities demonstrates how opposites can harmonize rather than conflict. By navigating ambiguity with grace and laughter, uncertainty transforms into inspiration.


Eternal Cosmic Allies

1. Thoth (Patron Deity)

  • Domains: Wisdom, writing, truth, magic.
  • Guidance: Thoth fuels intellectual and creative pursuits. Meditating on his symbols—the ibis, baboon, and crescent moon—draws clarity and inspiration, aligning works with his wisdom.

2. Eris (Spirit of Chaos)

  • Domains: Disruption, clarity through conflict, playful rebellion.
  • Guidance: Eris embodies chaos as a means to dismantle illusions and outdated systems. Her energy clears the path for renewal and transformation.

3. Ma’at (Spirit of Balance)

  • Domains: Truth, justice, cosmic order.
  • Guidance: Ma’at ensures mischief aligns with purpose and harmony, grounding chaos in truth and balance.

4. Lilith (Embodiment of Rebellion)

  • Domains: Authenticity, independence, freedom.
  • Guidance: Lilith celebrates unapologetic individuality, inspiring spaces where others feel empowered to claim their truths without fear.

Universal Symbols

1. Liminal Spaces

  • Meaning: Represent the boundaries where transformation begins—moments of transition, ambiguity, and possibility.
  • Core Practice: Embrace and explore these spaces as opportunities for growth and revelation, whether personal or communal.

2. Archetypal Narratives

  • Meaning: Myths, legends, and universal stories that reveal timeless truths about the human experience.
  • Core Practice: Use these narratives as mirrors and maps, connecting personal insights to collective wisdom and guiding others through their journeys.

3. Sacred Patterns

  • Meaning: Geometries, cycles, and repetitions found in nature and the cosmos that hint at underlying order and interconnectedness.
  • Core Practice: Observe and incorporate these patterns into creative works and contemplative practices to foster deeper understanding and resonance.

Sharing the Mischief

These teachings are not static but living practices that grow with reflection and discovery. They serve as a compass, guiding individuals and communities toward deeper understanding, laughter, and transformation. The Oracle of Mischief invites all to step into this journey—to explore questions that open doorways, symbols that spark wonder, and humor that lights the way.

The next chapter awaits. Let’s step into it together. 🌟✨

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