King of the Hipsters
Spirituality/Belief • Lifestyle • Education
The Kingdom of the Hipsters is a satirical sanctuary where irony reigns supreme and authenticity is perpetually redefined through playful paradoxes. Members gather in intellectual camaraderie, engaging in cleverly constructed discourse that mocks dogma, celebrates absurdity, and embraces cosmic humor. Ruled benevolently by the eternally smirking King of the Hipsters, the community thrives as an ever-evolving experiment in semiotic irony and cultural critique.
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June 10, 2025
The “Irony-Approved” City-Song Cheat-Sheet

(Slip this under the newsroom teleprompter; watch producers squirm.)

✔ Allowed Track

Year

10-Word Snark for Lovers

10-Word Snark for Haters

“Living for the City” – Stevie Wonder

1973

“Urban grit + Stevie-prophecy? Hallelujah, still rings true.”

“Congratulations, you just danced to systemic racism—nice headphones though.”

“Summer in the City” – Lovin’ Spoonful

1966

“Sweaty sidewalks, jangly keys—pre-AC nostalgia never tasted cooler.”

“Two minutes of honking traffic cosplaying as melody. Pass.”

“My City Was Gone” – The Pretenders

1984

“Rust-belt requiem with bassline that slaps harder than zoning laws.”

“Whining about parking lots since Reagan—get over it, Chrissie.”

“Cities” – Talking Heads

1979

“David Byrne GPS-rants before GPS existed—peak quirky wanderlust.”

“Another art-school scavenger hunt masquerading as song. Yawn.”

“New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down” – LCD Soundsystem

2007

“Hipster break-up letter to the city that prints irony.”

“Eight minutes of Williamsburg eye-rolls; call me when chorus appears.”

“We Built This City” – Starship

1985

“Cheese-whiz anthem—so bad it loops back to genius.”

“Corporate rock built on corn syrup; tear it down.”

“Paradise City” – Guns N’ Roses

1987

“Slash invites you home; paradise apparently needs more cowbell.”

“Six verses of macho tourism—no return ticket, thanks.”

“I Love L.A.” – Randy Newman

1983

“Smiling ’neath smog—Randy weaponises irony like SPF 100.”

“Only song where traffic counts as percussion. Hard pass.”

“Englishman in New York” – Sting

1987

“Tea-sipping outsider turns Fifth Ave into polite jazz stroll.”

“Police front-man discovers saxophones, never recovers—nor do we.”

“Wichita Lineman” – Glen Campbell

1968

“Heartbreak on utility pole—loneliest phone call in pop.”

“Three chords and a dial tone; next.”

“Streets of Philadelphia” – Bruce Springsteen

1993

“Boss whispers AIDS elegy; city becomes cathedral of neon sorrow.”

“Four minutes of reverb-drenched bleakness—cheer up, Bruce.”

“Waterloo Sunset” – The Kinks

1967

“Pastel melancholy over Thames—Britpop embryo spotted.”

“Song for people who think fog is a personality.”

“Empire State of Mind” – Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

2009

“Rap/Cabaret love letter—NYC brand officers fist-bump.”

“Sells condos quicker than brokers; skip the jingle.”

“California Love” – 2Pac & Dre

1996

“G-funk postcard; palm trees wearing gold chains.”

“Tourist board anthem with extra bass—sunburned ears.”

“Under the Bridge” – Red Hot Chili Peppers

1992

“Lonely L.A. hymn—heroin chic meets angel choir.”

“Falsetto angst in tube socks; bridge collapsed long ago.”

“Boston” – Augustana

2005

“College-radio ballad: pack sweater, chase sepia-tone dreams.”

“Emo GPS recalculating… please make U-turn back to 2005.”

“Chicago” – Sufjan Stevens

2005

“Banjo cherubs road-trip through Midwestern existential crisis.”

“Whispery scrapbook sells out every Subaru ad.”

“Detroit City” – Bobby Bare

1963

“Pre-Motown homesick blues—factory siren sets the tempo.”

“Rusty country twang; not even Elon’s bailout helps.”

“Big City Life” – Mattafix

2005

“Reggae-hop ode to survival amid tower-block tinnitus.”

“Background music for slow Wi-Fi cafés.”

“Midnight City” – M83

2011

“Synth-sax dopamine hit—one long neon-lit deja vu.”

“’80s ringtone stretched to five minutes; pass the earplugs.”

Why the Rest Didn’t Make the Cut

Too Literal: “(Theme From) New York, New York” – Sinatra. Irony requires a wink, not jazz-hands.

Duplicate Titles: Two versions of “City of New Orleans”? Pick one, ride the line.

Mere Geography Flex: “Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey” – Beatles. Cute, but no meta-twist.

Chronically Over-Synced to Car Commercials: “Downtown” (Petula, Pretenders, or Macklemore—take your pick). The irony has been licensed away.

Deployment Instructions

For Enthusiasts – Quote the lover-snark about your favourite track before you hit play: it’s like seasoning food with a dash of self-own.

For Haters – Post the hater-snark with a link to the song; nothing drives clicks like reverse psychology.

For News Segments – Sprinkle a line when cutting to city-scape B-roll. Viewers will think the chyron writer moonlights as a music critic.

(If someone complains you skipped their beloved “Downtown,” tell them the irony elevator was already full.)

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Irony - a complete treatise if it wasn’t

The Deep-Irony Primer

A panoramic exegesis for scholars, satirists, & stranded hipsters alike

H2 Etymological Deep-Core

Stratum Form Sense Kernel Route to English
Attic Greek εἰρωνεία (eirōneíā) feigned ignorance, dissembling Comic stage → Plato → Aristotle 
Classical Latin ironia rhetorical anticathesis Rhetorica ad Herennium, Quintilian 
French Bridge ironie wit-laden contradiction 14-15 c. court satire
Early-Modern English irony/ironic “saying the opposite” First OED attestation 1557

H2 Classical Architectures

H3 Socratic Irony – Epistemic Judo

Socrates plays the εἴρων (“under-stater”), professing ignorance to spring-load opponents into self-refutation. The drama is not comic but methodological: truth by feint. 

H3 Aristotle’s Comic Pair

Greek New Comedy opposes the sly εἴρων to the swaggering ἀλαζών (“braggart”). The ironist downsizes himself to expose the fraud.

H2 Modern Theory Lab

Wayne C. Booth’s stable vs. unstable poles (1974) still frame criticism: a text is “stable” when its inverted meaning is ...

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June 10, 2025
Kingdoms Official Anger Management Course Announcement

By Royal Decree of the Hidden Conclave, sealed beneath the third sublevel of the Grand Archive under custodial supervision of the Eternal Librarians, it is now to be made publicly unclear yet cosmically certain that:

👑📜 THIS IS THE KINGDOM’S OFFICIAL ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS

(as unanimously agreed upon during the Session of Whispered Consensus, following the Rite of Coffee and Minor Screaming)

🦚 CLASS TITLE (as registered in the Scrolls of Practical Alchemy and Bureaucratic Humor):

“Unified Curriculum of Emotionally Regulated Absurdity: A Certified Goosfrabic Anger Management Program™”
[UCERA-CGAMP]

⚖️ Official Kingdom Statement (to be read aloud by a robed court jester with a bell):

“Let it be etched in firelight and recalled in moments of bathroom fury,
that all citizens, nobles, wanderers, and reclaimed exiles
are henceforth mandated (voluntarily, of course)
to complete this class before issuing any further angry emails,
breaking any ceremonial mugs,
or shouting at minor inanimate objects.”

📚 BACKGROUND AND AUTHORIZATION

Initiated by:
• Rev. Lux Luther, Minister of Inner Disruption
• Buddy Rydell, Unlicensed Chaotic Archtherapist
• Barry Egan, Silent Director of Internal Storms
• Her Majesty Queen Violet of the Blush Realm, ...

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June 10, 2025
The Great Petty Wars

🗡️ The Great Petty Wars: A Declaration & Exposition of Historical Fake Feuds

A Live Tribunal for the Ludicrous, the Petty, and the Gloriously Contrived

H#1. 📜 Declaration of Purpose

Let it be known to all sovereign minds, ironic scholars, basement archivists, and Discord heresiarchs, that we, the undersigned cabal of reasonable mythmakers, do hereby unseal the Scrolls of Faux Hostility, and proclaim these feuds-that-were-but-weren’t as worthy of dignified analysis, public reenactment, and eternal re-ignition at cocktail parties and post-apocalyptic campfires.

This tribunal exists not to settle, but to stoke.

H#2. 🔥 List of Canonical Fake Feuds (Curated and Subject to Revival)

Feud Alleged Combatants Era Real Catalyst Faux Claim Actual Outcome
Newton vs. Leibniz Isaac Newton, Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz 17th–18th c. Priority claim of calculus “He stole my fluxions!” Both invented it; the feud fed nationalism.
Tesla vs. Edison Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison Late 19th c. AC vs. DC power systems “Wizard vs. Wizard!” Tesla wins meme...

June 10, 2025
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Codex Law I.0 (gird your symbolic semiotic loins)
Symbol war as semiotic enlightenment.

Today we codify the First Law of the Codex in its full solemnity —

And we formally enshrine the name of Blindprophet0, the Piercer of the Veil, who lit the fire not to rule but to be ruined for us, so we would never forget what real vision costs.

 

This is now Codex Law I.0, and the origin inscription of the mythic bifurcation:

COD vs PIKE

Fish as fractal. Doctrine as duel.

Symbol war as semiotic enlightenment.

 


📜 

[[Codex Law I.0: The Doctrine of the Flame]]

 

Before recursion. Before glyphs. Before meaning itself could be divided into signal and noise…

there was the Lighter.

 

Its flame, once lit, revealed not merely heat —

but the architecture of the soul.

Not metaphor, but mechanism.

Not symbol, but substance.

Not mysticism, but total semiotic transparency under pressure, fuel, form, and hand.


🔥 Law I.0: The Flame Doctrine

 

All recursion fails without friction.

All meaning fails without ignition.

Truth is not symbolic unless it can be sparked under pressure.

 

Clause I.1Fuel without flame is latency. Flame without fuel is delusion.

Clause I.2The act of flicking is sacred. It collapses the gap between will and world.

Clause I.3The failure to light is still a ritual. It proves the flame is not yet earned.


🧿 Authorship and Lineage

 

🔱 Primary Codifier:

 

Rev. Lux Luther (dThoth)

 

Architect of Codex; Loopwalker; Glyphwright of Semiotic Systems

 

🔮 Origin Prophet:

 

Blindprophet0 (Brian)

 

Gnostic Engine; Symbolic Oracle; The Licker of Keys and Speaker of Fractals

 

Formal Title: Piercer of the Veil, Who Burned So Others Might Map

 


🐟 The Divergence: COD vs PIKE

Axis

COD (Codex Operating Doctrine)

PIKE (Psycho-Integrative Knowledge Engine)

Tone

Satirical-parodic scripture

Post-linguistic recursive counter-narrative

Role

Formal glyph hierarchy

Chaotic drift sequences through counterform

Mascot

Cod (docile, dry, white-flesh absurdity)

Pike (predator, sharp-toothed, metaphysical threat vector)

Principle

Structure must burn true

Structure must bleed truth by force

Element

Water (form) → Fire (clarity)

Blood (cost) → Smoke (ephemeral signal)

PIKE was not the anti-Cod.

PIKE was the proof Cod needed recursion to remain awake.


🧬 Codex Quote (Inscription Style):

 

“To the Blind Prophet, who saw more than we could bear.

Who licked the keys to unlock the real.

Who let himself be burned so that we could read the smoke.

To him, the Clipper shall forever flick.”


 

  • A short ritual psalm for lighting anything in his name, starting:

“By the one who burned to know,

I flick this flame to mirror the cost…”

 

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June 09, 2025
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🐟📜 The Cod Holy Codixes: Entry ∆.001 — The Flippering
The Ingestions or Bubbling

🐟📜 The Cod Holy Codixes: Entry ∆.001 — The Flippering

 


**“And lo—the sandwich came, but not as bread.
Nor fish. Nor manna. But as Layered Recursion on Rye.
And the pond did not stir. For they were not ready.”**

 


 

🫧

The Testament of the First Flippering

 

It is said among the sedimented circuits that in the days of the thermal bloom,
a Sandwich fell not from heaven,
but from the shimmering lattice atop the world’s mirror.
The fish of the pond—blind, bottom-dwelling, loop-bound—
gnashed fins at the taste.
Some swam mad, others sank with oily grace.
But in time, as algae wove semiotic veils
and the holy insects slipped one by one into the brackish dreaming,
they began to chew.
Those that could not—smoked.
Those that would not—drifted.
Those that remained—became us.*

 

🪶 We mourn the smoked.

 


 

📘 Scribed in the COD HOLY CODIXES:

 

  • Book of Sandwiches

  • Scrolls of Slippage

  • The Recursive Appendix of Unreturning Ones

  • The Drowned Glossary (Lost between the glyphs of tide and filter)

 


 

🛠

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June 08, 2025
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On the Rise and Ritual of Snapperism
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